Don’t Let Fear Keep You From Your Dreams

Do you remember the dreams you aspired to obtain when you were a child? Maybe it was in regards to your career, your future family dynamic, or a certain goal. Children dream with no limits–anything can happen/anything is possible when you’re a child. They aren’t tainted with the mindset of “being realistic.”

I know for a fact I don’t have many people who actually read my blog consistently, but if you’re reading this and you have read my other posts, you’d know about my dream to travel. As long as I can remember, I always thought it’d be such a wonderful experience to travel (Especially to Africa…which actually happened back in 2015, but that’s another story). Unfortunately, it was short lived as I became very familiar with being realistic. My dream was still a dream, but it was no longer tangible to me. Therefore it became distant and soon forgotten.

As we get older and get caught up in the swing of our daily routines, we forget all the dreams and aspirations we once had. Why are we accepting our current reality and not working towards what truly fulfills us? The fear of failure. Dreams are seeds from God that He plants in our hearts in hopes to one day watch it come to life. Why ignore what God has placed in your heart and settle for less than what He has planned for you? Just because it’s “not realistic” doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

Don’t limit yourself by giving into your fears.  Choose to live in God’s reality. I know it’s terrifying, but it’s so rewarding! This is only one chapter of your WHOLE life. Wouldn’t you think there are many more to be written? Your story isn’t over yet. In fact, it’s just begun. God will show up for you!

When I was in ministry school, I was encouraged to dream again. I can vividly remember sitting at the very top row of seats of the convention center, just talking with God and having Him reassure me in my dream to travel. Not just to remember my dreams, but to see them as actually possible. It’s an encounter I won’t forget. Why did I ever doubt the reality of my dreams? Oh, well, the answer is simple: fear.

Fear is an evil tactic from the enemy that literally stops you in your tracks of the destiny God has paved out for you. It’s something I honestly still struggle with today, but at least now I am aware of the effect it has on me and I know how to divert it. I let fear keep me from doing a lot of things so I decided to face it head on.As some of you may know, I will be traveling Western Europe for two months in less than 40 days (exciting, I know). I made the decision in my heart that day I was sitting in the top row of the bleachers. I wanted to partner with God and make my dream come true.

Long story short, after ministry school I got an amazing job that allowed me to save money for this dream of mine. Not only am I going to countries I’ve never been before, (let alone speak their language), but I am going by myself. I will be meeting with friends along the way so I can have some guidance and company, but it’s still a huge leap out of my comfort zone. I could easily let fear say, “you’re a female who is going to travel alone to countries you don’t speak the language…have you seen Taken?!” I have seen this movie, but I won’t let fear keep me from doing what I know I need to do.

I’m sure you’re next thought is: is your job letting you leave for two months? Well, I actually got laid off a few months ago, but God is so good! He provided another job right away. It’s a temp job that lasts until the day I leave for my trip. So the answer is: no, I won’t have a job waiting for me when I get back. Crazy as it may seem, but I’m not worried about it at all. When you do life with God, there isn’t much we really need to waste time worrying about. Everything will fall into place as it should. Worry and fear go hand in hand, and I just don’t see a reason for me to stress about what life will be like when I get back. I’m actually excited to figure things out when I get back. I know God’s got me. He always has and He always will. My history with Him is proof that time and time again He is GOOD. He is faithful and He provides. Always.

With all that said, trust God. Don’t lose sight of your dreams no matter how big or small they are. Don’t discard them as unrealistic. If there’s a will, there’s a way. It just takes a little step of faith. God’s with you and He’s for you. He will never forsake you. Kick fear in the face and go after your dreams. Don’t let them just be dreams, but your reality. Create history with God. You’re the only one keeping your dreams from coming true. Take it from someone who is now a little over a month away from living out her dream 😉

Choose Faith. Cancel Doubt.

We always have the option to choose how we allow ourselves to be affected by certain circumstances. We can’t keep it from happening, but we can keep ourselves from getting wrapped up in it. I think one of the most rewarding things about having God in my life is the security of knowing regardless of what happens…I’m going to be ok. He’s always looking out for me with my best interest at heart. It becomes a matter of trust. Now, I know majority of my posts are all practically about the same thing, but it’s so important to understand and trust the goodness of God because when we know the characteristics of God, there is no room for doubt.

It doesn’t matter what kind of trials, life-crisis, rebel phase, or stubborn trail you are on. It doesn’t matter how much you love Him or hate Him. It doesn’t matter how angry you are at Him, how long you’ve gone without talking to him, etc. He has and always will love you. No matter what, He’s got you.

Let me just brag a little about how good He really is…

Recently, I was laid off of my job of almost 2 years as an Office Coordinator. I definitely was not expecting it, but with the way the company was going, it made sense. Regardless of it making sense, it was not a great feeling.

My first thought was, “shoot! I was betting on that money for my trip to Europe. They couldn’t wait a few more months??” Immediately my head began thinking of possibilities on how to make up the money. Even though I was upset at the moment, I had a strange sense of understanding and peace that it was all going to be ok, but my doubt kept trying to creep in. After a few conversations with those close to me, I was excited to see what God was up to.

Of course within the first few hours of being told the bad news, I already had friends sharing possible job offers for me which put my mind at ease. Not only that, but instead of being fully laid off, my CEO offered me to work part-time until I left (which I accepted). Within a week, I was already in the process of getting hired for a new temp job that extends until the day I leave! I didn’t even have to turn in my resume to anyone! (So crazy!) So I left the part time (which got me some extra money in the transition phase), got my severance, and a new job that pays the same if not more than my last! To top it all off, I got an unexpected check in the mail!! The amount of love and favor I felt and still feel is amazing. He still continues to provide more than I could ever ask.

And to think I was about to freak out about not getting the money I was betting on. Silly me for limiting what God can do. I am so incredibly thankful for how it all turned out and thankful God doesn’t limit Himself even if we do.  I couldn’t have asked for it to go any smoother. I am going to come out more than ok for my upcoming travels.

All this to say… in every situation we should lean on the faith (no matter how small it is) to guide us. When we magnify our faith, it minimizes the doubt that contradicts what God says about us and our circumstances.

Which voice are you going to listen to? Which thoughts are you going to entertain? Wherever your focus is, that’s what is going to be the lens you view life from. Don’t let fear and doubt dictate it; you’ll never accomplish what your heart is set out to do. All I know is I am so incredibly loved, highly favored, and more than able to conquer what life throws at me. I hope you come to know these things about yourself as well because it’s true about every individual reading this. You won’t regret it 😉

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”  Proverbs 31:25

Bee the Crazy Goon, Bee the Legend!

Let’s get straight to the point…How many months have passed by and I still find myself longing for something more than what I am currently doing. I am familiar with this feeling as it’s exactly how I felt before I dropped out of college to move up north for ministry school. God is constantly stirring our heart’s desires, but sometimes we’re just too wrapped up in our own twisted priorities to realize it or sometimes we just need that extra sense of confirmation. What am I getting at? Well let me explain…

My dreams and desires to travel is still very evident in my heart and I am currently saving up for it and planning out my destinations. I tend to ride a rollercoaster of emotions every time I think about it. It’s what I’ve been looking forward to and planning on for the past few years and now the time is approaching!

I currently have a job that is with out a doubt, given to me by God because it is all that I could have ever imagined and more. I am extremely grateful for the job that I have as it provides me with the means to make my traveling dreams come true, amazing new friends, helpful life skills, and improvements on my resume.

Most people would say I’m stupid to leave my job.

“Why would you quit such a great job to go travel? Why don’t you just keep it and travel a shorter amount of time?”

Well, something they don’t know is: I knew when I got this job it was going to be temporary. I knew the day I started it was not a long term gig and that I wasn’t supposed to get too comfortable there. I knew in my heart that God gave me this job to save for my travels and I wasn’t meant to stay there forever. I knew I was going to quit and travel once I had the money. I made sure to remind myself every day for the first month, “this is temporary.”

Call me crazy, but I’m still planning to quit despite their comments/questions. I won’t let them make me question God’s will for my life. It’s tough because I know where they’re coming from, but hey! Faith is spelled R-I-S-K. How am I going to say I truly and fully trust God if I don’t take a step out of my comfort zone and a huge leap of faith every once in a while? I’m not saying yours has to be as drastic, but when was the last time you took a leap of faith and had to full rely on God?

Anyways…So recently, since the time for me to go travel is approaching, I began to find myself questioning whether I was indeed making the right decision. I still fully believe God is going to provide, but I let people make me question..”What if it doesn’t work out? What if I don’t even go? What if…?” I was getting a little stressed and discouraged.

BUT THEN….

(Let me just tell you how good our God is)

A couple days after meeting up with my friend for breakfast to catch up on our lives, I’m driving to work and a honey bee lands on my window. I got really excited as this isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ve had a few bees (over time) land on my windshield and stay on there for an impressive amount of time.  I decided to look up the prophetic meaning of bees and declared it a God thing. Oddly enough, on this particular occurrence, I was unable to recall what the prophetic meaning of the bee was and decided to text my pastor to see if he could jog my memory .

I was so amazed! I’m ashamed to admit it, but I almost forgot how God can communicate to us in so many ways. I just felt like it’s been a while since I’ve experience this kind of awe moment. Who knew this little bee would bring me so much peace and confidence? God knew. He knew exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. It was a journey to get to the land of milk and honey and there were those who doubted and were too scared to go because they allowed their reality to blind them from seeing God’s will. Sometimes we just need to adjust the lens we view life with to be able to enjoy the “Promise Land” God intended for us.

Not only that, but I receive a text from my friend I had breakfast with offering me a job at her work that pays about the same as my current job. She even mentioned her boss may work with my travels and everything. I was so happy and honored as it would be ideal to get a position like that where I can continue to save for a place of my own when I get back.

Even though I won’t be able to take her up on the job offer (since I don’t know when exactly I will be back),  it still spoke volumes to me. I knew it was another God thing. He was just reminding me that He always has my back. He knew I needed that extra reassurance and man, did I feel such a sense of joy and peace.

Bottom line is….follow the desires God has put on your heart with full confidence. You know what He has asked you to do. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. I mean, Noah was seen as a crazy goon, but it was because that crazy goon minded his own and continued to follow what God had asked him to do that he was able to provide shelter from the flood.  Everyone knows Noah’s story. He’s a legend! So go on and live out your own story and be the legend you were called to be 🙂

 

Good life vs. Fulfilling life

 

I feel like a very common answer we all ask ourselves is, “what am I doing with my life?”

I don’t know about you, but this question has come up a lot lately for myself. However I noticed it stems from a sense of emptiness or the mundane. Why else would you ask yourself this question if you weren’t feeling a little lost?

I started to ponder the possibilities of being lost and began to really reflect on my life the past few months. To many, I have a great life. I mean…I’m not disagreeing with them. I do have a great life and I’m very thankful for it, but deep down I know there’s more. There’s more to life than working 8 hours everyday, going to school, attending church services, going out dancing with the girls, and going to concerts. It’s the same thing everyday and even though I have the means to do all these “fun things,” I still find myself asking the same question: “what am I doing with my life?” Well, to answer this question honestly…I’m not doing much. I’m just filling in the time slot with all these things until I make my debut in fulfilling my traveling dreams. Which isn’t necessarily bad. I guess a more accurate question would be: “what am I doing in the mean time?”

I’ve become accustomed to just going through the motions of life until the day I leave. That isn’t living life to the fullest; it’s just getting by. That’s not fulfilling to me. It’s going to be different for each individual, but my life is fulfilled when I know I’m doing what God is calling me to do and to an extent I am….but there’s always more.

Let’s get real right now….

I’ve become so mundane with the same thing everyday, every week, every month that sometimes I can feel the distance I’ve created between God and it’s due to the lack of effort I’ve put into our relationship. If I were really honest, I’ve become very selfish with my time and not necessarily in a good way.

A life spent in love with God is a life fulfilled. So how does life look like without him? The real question is how do people live their lives not knowing Him? Not knowing their purpose in life? Like…what are they living for? What do they look forward to? I was reminded during these past few months there really is an emptiness only He can fill. Even when I’m doing all these fun things that people comment on all the time, I’m still not fulfilled. I’m not completely content because I desire a more purposeful life. My heart has been reconstructed to love and desire a relationship with His children. Unfortunately, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to do this because I’ve filled it with all these temporary things.

I know it’s a bit extreme, but when you really think about it–what’s it all for?

Even when I get caught in the question, “what am I doing with my life?” I know I can always point my finger back to Him and say, “He knows.” All I have to do is surrender myself and allow Him to work and I know I will be used in radical ways if I’m willing. I still know who I am at the end of the day, but there’s still so many searching for who they are. So the ultimate question is, what am I doing to love on others so that they might feel the love I have been able to hold on to for so many years?

It’s not that all the fun things I’m doing are wrong, but am I being purposeful with those things? I guess in conclusion, for me,  I need to just remind myself to always be an example of God’s love towards people. Wherever I am, even if it seems like an inconvenience to me, I need to remind myself why I am here and what I’m called to do: love people.You never know who may need someone like yourself to take the time to love on them in that moment.

Live a life that satisfies your soul. A life that brings you joy. A life that inspires others. With everything you do, make sure you do it with purpose. Don’t get caught up in the motions of life. Make use of the time you have now. Embrace it 🙂

Truth and Love

It’s in the most vulnerable places of our hearts that we truly see what makes us tick. We see who we really are and what we live from. If we were really honest with ourselves, we would know that we are far from perfect. The beautiful thing about this is God remains head over heels in love with us; flaws and all. What we do or don’t do doesn’t alter His love for us. His love is unconditional, it’s relentless, and bold. It is not measured by our works, but instead, it’s freely given to us to receive and live from.

It is so vital for us to fully grasp the love of God for what it is. It’s free! Receive it! Believe it! It’s in these moments of self-reflection that we can lose sight of who we are if we don’t have the Father’s love filtering the way we see ourselves. Who we are is not limited to what we can see, but it’s limitless in how God sees us. If you see yourself in a negative way, you have already partnered with the enemy in tearing yourself down. By accepting that one little thought, you are entering a vicious cycle of lies.

I mean I don’t know if you realize this or not, but you are made in His image. If you criticize and pick at yourself, you are criticizing our Heavenly Father. You are everything that He is. You are a son or daughter of the Most High King. Until you see yourself in the light that God does, you will never fully comprehend the extent to which you are called to. We are called to live life and live it abundantly in all aspects. We aren’t called to hate ourselves and then try to love on others with the lack of love we have for ourselves.

I understand we want to love and serve others just as Jesus did (which is great), but we also need to receive and know the love God has for us just like Jesus did. You should never disqualify yourself as “not enough.” You certainly shouldn’t be “loving and serving” others to make you feel like you’re enough. All works and serving aside…YOU ARE ENOUGH! Even if you do nothing, you are already accepted. You are so incredibly loved JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Stop feeding into the lies that distort your view of who you are, who He is, and you’re role in this world. You are here first and foremost to have relationship with the Father. From that relationship will come identity, security, abundance, joy, peace, security, etc.

If you claim to have a relationship with God and don’t experience these things….I think you need to spend a little more time with Him. It’s a two way street of relationship. If you are constantly the one talking and playing into the victim, “woe is me,” mentality…that’s not relationship. That’s like meeting up for coffee with a friend and you talk their ear off and once you’re done venting or whatever, you just leave. You didn’t give them a chance to speak and therefore you have not created a bond or connection because you made it all about you. It’s when we make it all about us that we are blinded from see anything but ourselves. We are not concerned about what others have to say because we are so caught up in what we are going through. We are unknowingly acting selfish. It’s a dangerous place to be as it leaves no room for the truth of what God says about our situation.

So what’s it going to be? Will you cling to the lies that you are in a predicament and constantly be in a cycle of un-fulfillment, isolation, and depression? Or will you take the time to allow Holy Spirit to minister to your heart and give God the opportunity to speak into your situation? Will you believe the truth of who you are and reject the lies that come at you daily? All I’m saying is: When we switch our perspective away from the negativity and focus on the positive truth of our lives in God….it makes a world of a difference. Live from a place of His love for you.

Be blessed!!

Choose Love Always

I’m not saying I have this perfected, but I will say that love looks like something. Words mean a lot to me and it is actually one of the ways I receive love most, but words hold no weight when they are not followed with any action of reassurance.

I was thinking this morning of what it would look like if everyone chose to love people regardless of any previous judgements or past mistakes. How would that make other people feel and ultimately, how would it make you feel. I feel like we all like the idea of loving people where they are at, but not gonna lie, sometimes it’s very hard. Yes, there should be boundaries in place and we do need to guard our heart in certain situations, but what if we chose to just love?

What if we just love on whoever comes our way? I don’t know about you, but I feel convicted when I catch myself making harsh previous judgements of people before even exchanging a word with them. I mean, I’ve gotten a lot better about it, but I still catch myself doing it from time to time. That shouldn’t be how it is! If we really are wanting to love people, we have to fix our lens of which we see them.

Everyone has the right to be loved. Who are we to strip people of such a warming feeling? Who are we to act as if we are any better than anyone else? Everyone is on their own journey and for all you know, that simple smile or greeting from a stranger is exactly what a person needs. Unfortunately, people don’t expect much from people anymore. It’s a pleasant surprise when someone holds the door for others, or even if they initiate friendly conversation when this should be the norm!

We go about our day without the intention to talk to anyone we don’t know. We are consumed by what errands we need to get done, time frames we need to meet, or even just distracted with our phones and we forget to be personable. Beyond that, we give into stereotypes and prejudices to allow us to treat others as less than what they are. Why do we allow these warped views to determine how we treat people? We are all people and we all deserve to be treated accordingly.

So next time you find yourself cowering away from someone based on obscure perspectives, ask yourself why you are acting that way. Look past the stereotypes you have allowed yourself to believe and see people through the lens of love. You never know when that person might need just one friendly smile to believe there is still good in the world.

All I know is that I am going to listen and act more on what Holy Spirit puts in my heart whether it’s making eye contact and smiling, complimenting someone, buying a homeless man a meal, or whatever. Any random act of kindness is speaks volumes to both parties. Try it sometime. Let’s all love and be loved 🙂

Embracing Your Journey

Sometimes I sit back and assess where I’m at in my life right now. It may not always be where I want to be, but as long as I’m going in the right direction, I know I’m in a good place. The key word there is “going.” It’s easy to become complacent in the motions of day to day life. Trust me, I know, but that doesn’t mean it’s any form of excuse to stay there. It’s important to be aware of where we are in life to keep ourselves accountable to the dreams, goals, and desires we have set before us.

Your current situation may not look the way you expected it to by now, but that’s ok! As long as you are still actively pursuing that vision God has given you, you’re in a good place. It’s the moment we lose sight of our dreams and accept complacency that we choose to remain idol. Set your eyes on the prize of your heart and go. Keep moving forward holding onto the truths of His promises. He never breaks them.

I think something we often struggle with is the timing of events. We partner with God on the dreams, goals, and desires, but not in the timing . We get too excited about what is to come and we want it to happen right now so we rush into things. That’s not necessarily what God has in mind. We have to have clarity in our hearts and minds to listen and discern where God is leading us to align ourselves with His perfect timing.

In the moments of waiting for that special promise to become reality, we shouldn’t have tunnel vision on it. Don’t block out the other plans God has for you in the waiting process that you don’t know about yet. Our interpretation of what it takes to get from “point A” to “point B” isn’t always the way God makes it happen. He may have a whole other journey planned for you before He leads you into the one you are contending for or maybe the one you know of now isn’t the one you will remain in forever. He could very well have bigger plans for you. Have an open and heart and mind. Hold onto your dreams, but don’t allow yourself to accept complacency.

For example, I have been overcoming complacency lately. The first step is realizing I am just going through the motions of life. I feel antsy and anxious as if there is something more I should be doing with my life. This is when lies of the enemy creep in and try to make me believe I’m not doing enough.

As I begin scrolling through my  newsfeed on Facebook, I see all the incredibly amazing testimonies and events my friends are apart of and I get so excited and inspired by seeing the leaps of faith they take daily. Being in the vulnerable place that I am with feeling the need to do something now, I can easily begin comparing myself and always coming out short each time. Although, I may have began going down that road, I quickly discerned the lies of the enemy that triggers me to do so. Instead, I shifted my perspective. I am beyond proud and inspired by my friends. It only pumps me up more for the day God gives the green light on my dreams and desires.

My journey is my journey and it doesn’t and was never meant to look like anyone else’s. It just reminded me to partner with God and take the steps of faith towards my dreams instead of allowing Him to do it all himself. It’s a two way street; it’s a partnership. We have to worth with God to make these dreams reality and it doesn’t happen by us sitting around in our daily routines. Even though I know it’s not going to happen at this moment, I know that I still need to prepare myself for when it is the time for my dreams to manifest.

I know He has plans for me where I’m at right now and I want to be completely surrendered to whatever those may be. As long as I’m in a place of active pursuit towards the heart of God and what that looks like through me, I am in a good place. Just because I am not traveling around, healing people on the daily, preaching the gospel, etc. doesn’t mean I am not good enough. He loves me as I am right now. I know that He has called me to this place of rest and trust in His timing. My question from all of this is, can I feel validated in my relationship with God when I’m not doing anything? The answer is yes, because my relationship with Him is not based off works or striving. Our hearts behind ministry should always be spreading the heart of God; not for validation. We should be ok with being in a place behind the scenes and of rest. I think it’s healthy for me since I’m always doing something. I have nothing to prove to anyone or anything because I am a child of God and that’s my identity. Period. Nothing will ever change that.

No Fear in Love

This has been a constant mandate for me for over the past year. I did not realize how much fear I allowed to alter my day to day decisions. How many of us know that the enemy will do whatever  it takes to make sure you doubt your abilities in advancing the Kingdom of God? Well let me start you off with this:

THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!

I realized the need to overcome my fears during an encounter I had with God. It was during my first year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California. I was with 65+ other people in my Revival Group and our pastor instructed us to get into a position of receiving. The moment he said this, I felt Holy Spirit come upon me and I just knew in my heart that this was going to be a pivotal point in my relationship with God. My pastor proceeded to play a spoken word from Grahame Cooke called The Inheritance.  (I suggest you listen to it. Even if you already have, listen again. It’s a beautiful reminder of how God see’s us). As I lay on the ground fully opening my heart to the words that are being spoken, I begin to weep within hearing the first few lines.

There’s nothing you can do to make Him love you more and there is also nothing you can do to make him love you less. He loves you because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you…

Graham Cooke continues to narrate the audio speaking in the place of God himself to represent the nature of His love for us. Reiterating God’s love for me over and over again hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s easy to get caught up in Christianity living and begin comparing yourself to others within your church or those who you do life with. You begin to wonder what you can do next to get the approval of others vs. receiving the unconditional love of God. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do; He will love you 100%! Whether you decide to live for Him or not. I no longer felt the need to strive or put together some beautiful combination of words to appease those around me. He knows my heart and all He wants is for me to give it to Him. He loves us just as we are in this very moment. While this whole audio is playing, my mind is just going crazy envisioning myself in different countries, loving on children, and all the while holding God’s hand.

My love for you will break every barrier. It will break every wall crashing down. My love damages fear. My love hates fear. My love will fight fear. It will fight fear in you. It will fight fear around you. …My perfect love casts out fear. There is no fear where I am present. 

After hearing this part of the audio, I lost it. I was already crying before, but I started bawling at this point. The truth of my issues with fear we’re revealed and it scared me just thinking about letting down the walls and letting go of my comfortable bubble I’ve placed myself in. In this vision, I was holding God’s hand while going from country to country. “There is no fear where I am present because my perfect love casts out fear.” I never had such deep revelations of what 1 John 4:18-19 meant. There is literally no room  for fear in my heart. If I am full of His love, I should have no fear. By allowing fear into my heart, I am not full of His love. This when I have to address the fear and respond with faith. God showed me that He wants to take me to all these different places,  but I have to let go of my fear.

After the audio finished, one of the leaders began speaking. She told us to imagine ourselves in a hallway and at the end of the hallway is a large mirror. She told us to walk to the mirror and look at ourselves. “Now ask God how He  sees you,” she said.

This image immediately popped up in my head. Moments later, the leader says, “I feel like some of you might have seen a lion in your mirror.” Ummm…what? Mind you there are 65+ people in this place and God told her what I saw. (I knew it was a special day for me). She continues to explain the it represents boldness. “Lions are not tame, and neither is our God. I feel like some of you are on the quiet side and don’t share too much out loud. It’s for you to let out your roar! He wants to roar with you! Let your voices be heard…” This lady was reading my mail! Everything she was saying was resonating hardcore within me! Of course it only made me cry even more (It was not cute). I couldn’t stop crying.

My heart was yearning for those that I saw in my vision amongst the many countries, yet I was terrified of the journey that lies ahead. God kept reminding me of His peace and how He would be with me every step of the way. He always has my best interest at heart and I know that He would not lead me into places where I am not covered by Him. I can be fearless knowing that He is my protector. He sees me as His beloved, royalty, bold, courageous, and strong. This is how He sees me:

From this moment on, I made and continue to make the effort to push past the fear in any situation to overcome it. To prove to the enemy that he no longer has a hold on me. Time and time again, it was confirmed to me that fear is what has been holding me back this whole time. Even though I still forget sometimes, I will always make it a point to kick fear in the face. It won’t hold me back from my dreams to travel the world and love on those who need it most. I won’t let fear keep me from living out the destiny God has called me to.

Call Me Crazy, But I’m a Little Old Fashion

For those who know me, you know I am as single as can be and always have been. No need, to re-read that first line and determine what I mean. I’ll clarify for you right here:

I’ve never had a boyfriend before. 

“What?! Really?? Never?!?….Why??” Is typically the response I get. Then I explain to them how I have yet to meet someone of my liking. Go ahead and call me picky, but I’m not going to settle for less than what I know I deserve. I don’t care if I come across a little cocky either. I know what I want and I don’t see why I should settle for anything less because if I do, I am constantly going to wish they were like what I originally wanted. And that’s not fair to either of us.

So let’s take you back a little bit. Growing up, my parents always told me I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16. So 16 became that magical number and I would always tell guys I couldn’t date until then. However, by the time my 16th birthday I learned dating isn’t something you just do for kicks and giggles. Thanks to my youth pastor at the time (shoutout to Pastor Rudy [Poody]) I learned the value of myself.

It was during his many purity series that I made a vow to remain pure for my future husband not just in sexual purity, but my heart as well. 

I once  started reading this book called, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. In the beginning of the book it described a wedding scene where the bride is walking down the aisle. As she approaches the alter she sees her soon to be husband standing waiting for her, but then there are a line of women on the side of him. These aren’t her bridesmaids. She walks up to be with her man and demands an explanation. “Well, today I am marrying you and giving you what’s left of my heart, but these are the women of my past and each of them have a piece of my heart as well.” Oh my gaw! After I read this I never looked back. Relationships became very important to me and I made a point to never date someone just to date them, but with purpose.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on dates (maybe a handful) and I’ve had interest in guys, but it just hasn’t ever worked out. I always trust that God has my best interest at heart and that when the right guy comes along, He will make it known to me. My priority has never been to find prince charming though. I never wanted to get wrapped up in dating and allow a guy to define my worth. I wanted to be independent; not dependent. I wanted to be completely secure and confident in who I am before I got involved with a boy because it’s not healthy to lose yourself in a relationship.

I don’t want a boy…I want a man!

For real though. I always joke how I’m going to be single forever and how I am called to celibacy (I rebuke that). The reason is though because 1. I’m still single, but 2. because I may or may not be too harsh with guys. They try to ask me out, but if they don’t just straight up ask me out, I either call them out or I play just as dumb as they are by acting like I don’t know they’re trying to ask me out. What happened to asking girls out on a date, showing up with flowers, opening doors, paying, pulling out chairs, etc? Is this all just a hopeless dream? Gentleman are very hard to come by these days.

Why can’t guys just be straight up anymore?

I want to be asked out on a date, not if I want to “hangout.” It’s always these dumb games of guys trying to indirectly ask girls out. I’m sorry, but that just doesn’t work for me. So what if I have to be single a little longer? I will wait for a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put himself out there enough to properly ask me out vs. just asking me to “hangout sometime.” Unless you call it a date, we’re just chilling in the friend zone, ok? I know I’ve seen it done before so I feel like it’s not too much to ask for at all. I am very straight forward and will tell it like it is because “ain’t nobody got time” for games.

A relationship should be between two independent people who choose to love one another on the daily. It’s not based solely on emotions and physical acts. It’s based on the position of your heart. It’s not what you can get out of the relationship, it’s what you can give. You should never enter a relationship to fill some kind of void. If you can’t handle being single without any attention from guys on the side, then you best be checking yourself before you wreck yourself.

With all that being said, thanks for reading my rant. All I know is one day I will come across that special guy that will treat me like a queen and I will treat him like a king. Until then, I’m living and enjoying the single life. I’m in no rush, but this girl has been waiting long enough! However, whenever that day comes, I know the wait will be more than worth it.

 

 

 

 

“Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone”

I came across this quote today and it immediately spoke to my heart. I’ve been in the season of constantly feeling the need to do more. Not just more in my day to day life, but outside of my comprehension. Let me catch you up to speed…

I attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry a year ago and I’ve never been the same since. There was one particular moment where I found myself crying uncontrollably during worship at one of the weekend services. It wasn’t because I was sad or hurt, but because God was literally wrecking me (in a good way). My heart was yearning for the people who have not experienced his love. I was seeing visions of me traveling all over the world and catering to children who seeked after genuine love. “Mother of nations,” “mother to the motherless” and “you have a mothering spirit” are all words that were given to me prior to this moment.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
    for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
    that the blind will see,
that the oppressed will be set free,
and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.”

~Luke 4:18-19~

I know that this verse describes my purpose in life. It was in this moment of vulnerability with God that I put my fear aside and gave Him my “yes.”Even though it terrifies me to think about traveling into the unknown, I know my heavenly father will be with me every step of the way holding my hand.

So screw comfort zones! There is NO FEAR IN LOVE! Allowing the fear of branching out past your normal life is just a hold the enemy has placed on you to keep you from pursuing your dreams and goals with God. Let go of your fear and dream with God! I promise you it’s worth it. What’s holding you back?

Coming across this quote really confirmed what God is wanting me to do next. The quote was actually written on a a little canvas. I bought it and it is now displayed in my room to remind me daily to step out of my comfort zone to ignite the flame of my dreams.

So I challenge you. What are your dreams and how do you plan on living them out? Don’t just brush them aside as if they can never happen. God has placed those in your heart because He wants to live them out with you. Even if they seem a little scary, you have the creator of the universe on your side. You’ll be more than fine! Take the risk and never look back!